I’ve read a lot of articles about how we apologize too much. And say “like” too much. I have my own admittedly long list of language pet peeves, some of which I commit to my own dismay. 

One of my husband’s favorite words is disambiguation. Making words and meaning clear. No ambiguity. 

So, naturally, I’m trying to be more conscious of saying what I mean and meaning what I say. And when I don’t, he usually points it out, usually nicely.  I’m getting better at noticing and questioning things I’ve long said without thinking.

My latest pet peeve is a language habit I’ve found hard to break. It was kind of shocking to realize how often I say this:

Real quick.

It’s a lie I tell myself and others when I want to squeeze in one more thing. It’s a byproduct of an over-scheduled, multi-tasking world. Similar to “like” and “I’m sorry” and a whole litany of things that just fall out of mouths, I say it on auto-pilot. I realized what I often really meant was one or both of the following things:

1) I’d like for you to wait for me.
2) I’m not ready to do that yet.

What it rarely meant was the very thing that I said: that I would do X thing in an expedient manner, that it would only take a moment.

Let me just answer this email real quick. Five edits and 15 minutes later, I’ve shown that what I said didn’t mean anything. There was nothing real quick about it. And while it seems small, this can erode trust over time.

Real quick is one example. The point it less about these specific words and more about being on the lookout. What are the things we say that make us less effective communicators, or even slyly undermine our character, making us appear flaky or disrespectful, or even lacking in integrity?